"For someone to trust you, they need to know that you can see their version of reality with as little judgment as possible."
Ege Reynolds Tweet
Meet Ege Reynolds, founder of The Charming Man, and former software engineer turned dating coach.
His mission is to help analytical men transform their dating lives and create meaningful relationships. Ege’s services leave his clients free to focus on their personal growth while he provides them with a holistic approach that combines principles with tactics.
In this interview, Ege discusses his background and the inspiration behind his career shift, as well as his coaching approach and how he helps his clients develop empathy and authenticity in their dating lives.
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Table of Contents
What inspired you to shift from being a software engineer to becoming a dating coach?
Ege Reynolds: After having my own transformation from a 225-pound, socially awkward video game addict to losing 65 pounds & becoming socially free, I experienced the power of taking responsibility for my life.
I had always enjoyed helping people, so playing a part in other people’s lives seemed more meaningful than optimizing functions behind a keyboard. In the end, the only way we can live after we’re dead is through the impact we make on others.
How does your background as a former analytical man help you connect with your clients?
Ege Reynolds: I know how to speak their language to connect complex social and spiritual concepts in a way that would make sense to them. For example, learning how to speak to your mind in a kinder & more compassionate way is like upgrading your operating system for better functionality.
Can you tell us more about your REEL Attraction System and how it differs from other dating coaching approaches?
Ege Reynolds: The REEL Attraction System is a holistic process that combines principles with tactics so that attracting women becomes a state of being instead of something a man has to “do.”
We use the principles of Relaxation, Expression, Empathy & Leading to give you a compass through which you can make decisions when approaching, speaking to & dating women.
Most programs show you what to do & how to do it, we combine that with why it works & how it looks like for your personality so you are 100% self-sufficient by the end of our time together.
How do you help analytical men overcome their tendency to overthink and approach dating more authentically?
Ege Reynolds: I help them let go of their attachments to thoughts & logic and connect more with their heart. Most analytical men use their thoughts and their minds as the only sources of input on what they need to do.
However, we also have our body, soul and heart. One of the first things we do with guys we work with is to have them speak to themselves in a kinder way & focus on where they are tensing up in their body when they are around attractive women instead of searching for the perfect thing to say.
What are some common mistakes that analytical men make when it comes to dating, and how do you help them avoid these pitfalls?
Ege Reynolds: The most common mistakes I see from analytical men are:
- Trying to follow a step-by-step, fail-proof approach (which doesn’t exist in social situations)
- Imagining the worst-case scenario before they speak to women.
To get over this, I help men let go of their need to control through meditation & belief work and accept the moment from a place of love.
We also have our clients interact with women they see in their day-to-day life to get real experiences on how compassionate, kind, and positive most women are so they no longer worry about the worst-case scenario.
What role does empathy play in creating deeper, more meaningful relationships? How do you teach your clients to be more empathetic listeners?
Ege Reynolds: For someone to trust you, they need to know that you can see their version of reality with as little judgment as possible. Most men are so caught up with their own problems in dating that they don’t recognize problems women also go through.
We help our clients become more empathetic listeners by showing them how to listen for emotions instead of facts & energetic practices to help them see the world from a woman’s point of view.
In your opinion, what are the most important qualities that women look for in a man? How do you help your clients develop these qualities?
Ege Reynolds: After speaking to thousands of women around the world and coaching dozens of guys in dating, I believe women want a man who can be confident, charismatic, and dominant while also being loving and compassionate.
They don’t want a man who is a strong, stoic character who never shows emotions but they also don’t want a guy who is overly emotional and more chaotic than they are.
Our REEL system helps our clients to build these qualities through a combination of relaxation meditations, creating a winner effect by expressing one’s authentic self in the real world & taking a position of leadership from love.
How do you incorporate Buddhist principles into your coaching approach, and how do they relate to dating and relationships?
Ege Reynolds: We have all our clients follow the TWIM practice, which is the original meditation practice taught by the Buddha & a practice I learned from my long-term mentor, Pierre. There is a very specific process to let go of distractions – Recognize, Release, Relax, Resmile, Return, Repeat.
This process allows our clients to have more wholesome, loving, peaceful thoughts over time & once we combine it with the social principles, the transformations are crazy! For anyone interested in this meditation, you can search “TWIM meditation” on YouTube and find it for free 🙂
Can you share a success story of a client who transformed their dating life through your coaching?
Ege Reynolds: Sure, we have a ton of success stories from clients with various backgrounds – in fact we have a 78-page internal document of our clients’ results to motivate our team.
A quick story that comes to mind is from a Google Engineer called Sheldon. Before working with us, women kept telling him that they felt “no chemistry” after a conversation or a first date because he was very logical and came off as too robotic.
After our work together, within a few months, he got into a relationship with his ideal type of woman & they are going strong to this day.
What advice do you have for analytical men who are struggling with dating and relationships?
Ege Reynolds: If this has been a struggle for a long time, there’s no shame in working with a mentor.
I’ve spent around $100,000 to learn what I teach my clients inside our programs & if you find the right mentor, you save so much time learning a skill set that can benefit you for the rest of your life.
If that’s not an option for you, I highly recommend you check out our free resources, like the Charming Man Podcast, because our goal is to give away our best stuff for free.
Jed Morley, VIP Contributor to ValiantCEO and the host of this interview would like to thank Ege Reynolds for taking the time to do this interview and share his knowledge and experience with our readers.
If you would like to get in touch with Ege Reynolds or his company, you can do it through his – Linkedin Page
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