Weddings are expensive. Depending on where you’re from you can expect costs between $30K and $100K as an average. And, where does most of that cost come from? Feeding your guests.
The simple solution is to choose a small venue and tell your not-so-close friends that the space is too small for anyone but family. But most venues have a minimum guest figure you need to hit or they will charge you extra.
Your wedding shouldn’t be about your guests. It should be about you and your partner. Eloping can allow you to have a truly intimate wedding experience, without taking out loans or arguing about who to put on the guest list.
So how can you do it without causing drama?
Tell Your Family About Your Plans
The best way to avoid drama is, to be honest. Tell your family that you’re eloping, and let them know the reason why. You can explain that the cost of a wedding doesn’t fit in your budget, or you don’t like the idea of everyone watching you as if you’re on show.
Your family might not agree with your ideas or even be happy about it, but letting them know will help avoid a shock response where people say things they don’t mean.
Let Them Help Or Send Gifts
If your family members love to get involved in everything, even though you don’t want their help, then give them something to do. Most of the time, these family members simply want to be involved.
You don’t need to give them a massive job, simply telling them the location of your wedding venue or hotel can allow them to send you a gift.
We spoke to Rasmus Sørensen from Getting Married In Denmark, and he said “Let your family enjoy your good news by being in on secret. If you take a photo holding the bouquet of flowers they gifted you, they won’t feel so disconnected from your special day.”
Combine Your Elopement With A Vacation
If you truly want your marriage to be a secret, you should plan a vacation where getting married quickly can fit inside your holiday plans.
A great location for foreign weddings in Denmark. Rasmus Sørensen explained, “international couples choose Denmark because it’s easier than their own country. 15,000 international couples travel to Denmark every year, to get married”.
On your vacation stay, you can enjoy the views, explore the culture, and elope without invasive family members barging in on your day.
Depending on your reason for eloping, this option is the best way to avoid family members who don’t understand the word “no”.
Although some family drama might appear from the unexpected elopement, you can tell everyone that your location was so romantic that you got carried away in the moment. This will make the marriage seem like an unplanned experience and not a ploy to avoid a massive wedding.
Create An After Party
If your marriage occurred on a planned vacation or through a quick ceremony, you can allow your family to feel involved in the day by creating an after-party. This party could occur days or months after your actual wedding, but it will make your family and friends feel involved in your day.
Simply pick a romantic spot, and let your favorite people come together for drinking, dancing, and food.
If you avoided a big wedding because you didn’t want to be the center of attention, you can allow the event to occur without any big speeches or dancing.
If you don’t want an expensive experience, you can ask everyone to bring in a potluck dinner that reminds them of you and your partner. Maybe it’s a takeaway that you always got as students or a meal that one of you famously burnt.
The potluck dinner will help spread the costs and allow your friends and family to still feel like this day is about you.
Final Thoughts
Marriage is about you and your partner. No one else. If you want to elope, that’s a choice between the two of you. It has nothing to do with your friends or family.
Although the statements above seem obvious to most people, there will be some who believe they are entitled to everything in your life. You can never please people with that mentality.
The suggestions above should help avoid major dramas, but some personality types expect everything to go their way. If you plan on eloping and expect some family members to make your day about them, surround yourself with people who support you.
