"Life's joy is often hidden in the uncharted paths we fear to take."
Daphney Poyser is the Founder and CEO of Fern Connections, a LGBTQIA+ Matchmaking, Date & Relationship Coaching, and Events company based in the DFW area.
The company started in 2020 and has since grown into a thriving organization that has been featured in The New York Times, Highsnobiety, Bustle Magazine and more.
Prior to starting her company, Poyser worked for over twenty-five years in the tech sector. She notes that the experience she had in this space was a primary driver for her in creating a company that imagined something better for their employees.
On Fern Connections’ website it says that as a part of their mission they aspire to inspire individuals to live and love in their truth, and that’s exactly what Poyser has accomplished here; creating a safe space for not only clients, but for her employees to thrive, and feel heard and connected in their community.
With headquarters in Texas, Georgia, and Colorado, the company has expanded at a rapid rate in the last two and a half years, and they don’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. Led by Brainz Magazine CREA Global Award Winning Relationship Coaching Daphney Poyser and Fern Connections are certainly ones to watch within the world of Coaching & Matchmaking.
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Table of Contents
You’ve grown your company in such a short time, and I’m sure there was a good amount of planning that went into that process. Can you talk more about how you approached starting the company and setting yourself up for success during that endeavor?
Daphney Poyser: I am a firm believer in planning and scalability in a way that makes sense for your company and your team. When I was first starting the business, I met with my kids and we came up with a business plan that’s been tweaked a few times over the years, but this has been the foundation of our process.
I believe that it’s important to have consistent, repeatable processes, and after over 25+ years of experience working in technology for various large corporations across the country, I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what type of business you own.
The most important aspect is whether or not you are able to offer a consistent and dependable service for all of the people that you do business with.
That’s so special that you were able to work with your family to create the foundation for your business. When it came to building out the rest of your organization what strategies did you employ, and what advice would you give to others when it comes to creating a genuine and successful team?
Daphney Poyser: I believe that the first step to building a good team happens far before the interview process begins. When I’m interviewing people for matchmaking services I always say to them that their first good match should be their matchmaker, and I hold the same values for my team.
I want my team to enjoy working with me as much as I enjoy working with them, and equally as important I want them to feel comfortable and enjoy working with each other.
I believe that hiring like minded people who understand and support the vision of the company, and who genuinely enjoy working together in a very supportive and cohesive way is one of my top goals when it comes to building a great team. I believe that the mindset of connection starts with us as a team first.
Whether you’re dating or forging relationships in the workplace, it takes a lot of work and trust to create a dynamic that works best for everyone involved. How did you go about establishing that trust with your team, and what qualities would you suggest for other people to utilize when it comes to trying to create a more confident relationship with their employees?
Daphney Poyser: Be consistent with your words and actions and try to be as fair and unbiased as possible when it comes to handling other people in your life.
I see myself in a lot of the people that I work with so I get their frustrations with dating and wanting to be loved and accepted for who they are. I remember being in Corporate America and just wanting to be accepted for who I am and what I bring to the table; so it is really important to me to emulate that energy, and to set a good example for my team, and allow them the autonomy to do the same.
It hasn’t always been easy as a Black woman trying to navigate the corporate world so I want to provide support and opportunities for the people who work for me that I wasn’t allotted. I truly get it and I want the best for my team in their career and development within the company and beyond.
That’s not always an easy feat to accomplish, and whether it’s with people at work or people in your personal life, or in your case both. It can be hard to create those sort of real, authentic relationships with others, especially ones where each individual feels heard and valued. What would you consider to be the most important thing for people to know when it comes to trying to create those same authentic and respectful connections?
Daphney Poyser: People value individuals who are open and transparent. You have to allow people to see the real you, and be honest not only for others sake but for yourself. We all have an unmovable past, but we all have a future too; one that we get to decide how that looks for us.
Who would you say is the real you? How do you go about creating an authentic life? What brings Daphney Poyser joy?
Daphney Poyser: I love this question so much! I try to be intentional with my time and energy, and I am learning when to pull back when I need to. Getting the proper rest, not just with sleep, but with true cortisol reducing rest has helped show up as my best and most understanding self for the other people in my life. Being mindful of my own presence helps me to be more mindful of others and that brings me balance and helps me be my best self, which in turn brings me joy. I remember hearing Oprah talk about giving yourself the grace to rest when you need it and being okay with sleeping in on a Sunday because sometimes saying NO is the most positive thing you can do for yourself. I am not sure if it comes with being a little older but I am becoming more okay with allowing myself to act in a way that I once thought of as wasteful or lazy; those are the moments when I see my most authentic self show up. [smiles]
When it comes to looking forward to where you would like your company to grow into, what future do you strive to have in store for yourself?
Daphney Poyser: I see a natural expansion happening within the matchmaking portion of our business as we engage with more collaborations between other matchmaking firms across the country; both for individuals within the LGBTQ+ community and their Allies. I believe that the pandemic changed how we see and relate to people today.
We’re all hungry for some type of connection and our mission here at Fern Connections is to give people the ability to connect in a safe way. Which is why we are also currently focused on growing our events business in the DFW area.
Our goal is to be as inclusive as possible and to offer safe opportunities for people to come together, connect, and have fun with their community regardless of their background, sexual or gender orientation, and lifestyle.
To finish off, what advice would you extend to other CEOs looking to create a more intentional, supportive, and safe workplace for their employees?
Daphney Poyser: I believe that the more diverse a team you have the better the ideas, vision, strategy, and growth there can be within your organization. The wider range of thought you have within your company the easier it becomes to step into the minds of your consumers and focus on what makes sense when it comes to bettering the services you offer and the people you serve.
This is why I love being an entrepreneur. I get to decide what the ceiling heights are for my company, and with the eagerness for continuity that I share with my team we can execute almost any vision.
I often tell my clients that I used to stress about how other people loaded the dishwasher and how it wouldn’t turn out well if it wasn’t done with my process in mind; now when I’m talking to them about building successful relationships, I use the dishwasher story as an example of how even if it is loaded differently the end results are still the same: the dishes are cleaned, the situation ended in success.
I am constantly trying to remind myself and others that if you get out of your own way you can find that there are a thousand different ways to do something and still be happy.
Jerome Knyszewski, VIP Contributor to ValiantCEO and the host of this interview would like to thank Daphney Poyser for taking the time to do this interview and share her knowledge and experience with our readers.
If you would like to get in touch with Daphney Poyser or her company, you can do it through her – website or Linkedin Page
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