Sandra Myers is the President and Co-Founder of Select Date Society, a premier matchmaking firm serving high-net-worth individuals. With nearly 30 years of experience in the matchmaking industry, she has built one of the nation’s most exclusive services for discerning singles. Under her leadership, Select Date Society earned a coveted spot on the Inc. 5000 list, ranking #639 in 2024. Sandra is widely respected for her personalized, high-touch approach that values privacy, integrity, and lasting relationships.
Company: Select Date Society
We are thrilled to have you join us today, welcome to ValiantCEO Magazine’s exclusive interview! Let’s start off with a little introduction. Tell our readers a bit about yourself and your company.
Sandra Myers: Thank you so much, I’m truly honored to be here. I’m Sandra Myers, President and Co-Founder of Select Date Society. I’ve been in the matchmaking industry for almost 30 years, and when my business partner and I started Select Date Society, our goal was to create something very different for high-net-worth and ultra-high-net-worth singles. We wanted a service that was highly personal, thoughtful, and discreet. We really take a “less is more” approach, meaning we don’t overwhelm our clients with endless introductions. Instead, we slow down, get to know them deeply, and guide them carefully toward the right match. That’s why we’ve been able to achieve a 90 % success rate, which is something we’re very proud of. For us, it’s not just about dates, it’s about creating relationships that truly last. And in 2024, being recognized on the Inc. 5000 list and ranking number 639 was such a proud moment because it showed that our vision is working and making a real impact in the business of love.
What was the initial spark that motivated you to take on an industry dominated by giants, and how did you identify a viable opportunity to compete?
Sandra Myers: The spark came from a deeply personal moment. My business partner survived a sudden cardiac arrest, and that life-changing experience made us both reflect on what truly matters. We realized we wanted to dedicate our time to building something meaningful, something that would bring genuine love and connection into people’s lives. At the same time, I recognized a clear gap in the industry. After nearly 30 years in matchmaking, I had seen how many of the larger players operated with a volume-driven model, where clients often felt like numbers in a system. For most singles, the options were either impersonal apps or large-scale matchmaking services, both of which lack the authentic human touch.
Our vision was to change that. We set out to create a service that is not just a checklist or an order form, but an in-depth, highly personalized experience where every client feels understood and genuinely advocated for. We wanted the focus to be on achieving the ultimate goal of lasting success, rather than simply fulfilling dates or completing contracts. That is why we built Select Date Society as a boutique, concierge-style firm, working with fewer clients so we can give them more attention, more care, and more intentional matchmaking. That philosophy of ‘less is more’ and discernment in who we represent would prevail over volume. This change quickly became our opportunity to stand out, and it remains the foundation of our success. That being said, all of this would not be possible without our stellar team who work tirelessly for our clients and bring their best day in and day out.
Can you describe the most critical strategy or innovation you implemented to differentiate your business from the industry leaders and gain traction?
Sandra Myers: The most critical strategy we implemented was focusing on a hyper-personalized, relationship-driven approach rather than volume-based matchmaking. Unlike industry leaders who rely on algorithms or large-scale operations, we deliberately limited the number of clients we accept and built deep, trust-based relationships with both clients and referral partners.
From the outset, we invested in curating exclusive, high-quality connections rather than chasing quantity. Every interaction, whether with a client or a referral partner, was designed to demonstrate exceptional care, discretion, and alignment with values, which quickly established credibility in the ultra-high-net-worth space.
On the Innovation side, we introduced the Founder Club, a $1 million membership offering UHNW singles direct, undivided access to the founders. It’s an immersive relationship concierge experience, starting with a private, in-home consultation conducted by us, the co-founders. No assistants. No delegation. No list. Only you. We conduct in-depth interviews and meet influential friends and family to gain a full 360-degree view of our client’s life. For high-profile individuals, this level of engagement has made our service even more appealing, as they now see an option to outsource their love life when they may have never considered it before. This unparalleled care drives higher success rates and exceptional loyalty, setting us apart from larger competitors.
The combination of intentional scarcity, premium service, and relationship-first growth has become our signature differentiator, allowing us to gain traction and trust in a market dominated by much larger players.
How did you handle the resource disparities such as funding or market access when going up against much larger competitors?
Sandra Myers: We launched the company using our own resources, guided by what we call our “never scarce” mentality. From day one, we believed that if we focused on doing the right work, each month would provide exactly what we needed to sustain and grow the business. Initially, we relied heavily on Google and digital advertising to connect with potential clients. While this carried us through the first six months, it quickly became clear that building a business dependent on algorithms outside our control was not the path to long-term success.
We made a conscious decision to shift our focus toward partnerships and growth driven primarily by referrals. This approach gave us a far stronger foundation; every client who joined came through a trusted connection or from someone who had already experienced meaningful results with us. By investing in relationships rather than ads, we established a sustainable model that has fueled our growth from the very beginning. Today, we remain entirely independent, free from outside investors or debt, which allows us to uphold our values and ensure that the client experience remains at the heart of everything we do.
What was the biggest setback or direct confrontation with an industry giant, and how did you turn it into a turning point for your success?
Sandra Myers: Our biggest challenge came within six months of launching the business—the pandemic. At the time, our company was still building visibility and limited to the connections we had cultivated in our local business circles. Initially, it felt like a major setback. But we quickly realized that the very circumstances keeping everyone at home could work to our advantage. Singles were more acutely aware of the absence of connection, and referral partners became more accessible amid the restrictions.
What initially seemed like a potential downfall became a catalyst for growth. We pivoted strategically, moving upmarket to serve fewer clients at a higher price point. In doing so, we elevated our brand, delivering a truly white-glove, highly personalized experience with a proprietary onboarding process designed to meet the expectations of discerning clients. In the end, our greatest setback became a launching pad for something far greater, turning the lemons of COVID into extraordinary lemonade for SDS.
What’s one mindset or principle that kept you grounded while taking on industry titans, and how can other founders adopt it to compete?
Sandra Myers: Abundance Mindset – I wanted to share some thoughts on cultivating an abundance mindset, especially when pursuing a passion project. Operating from a place of fear can hinder progress and opportunities. When you’re working on something that positively impacts others, choosing to believe in your ability to succeed, even when challenges arise, is essential and ultimately brings a true sense of peace. When you wake up in the morning knowing your intentions outweigh those of the big titan competitors, you find yourself operating in a new gear you didn’t even know you had.
It’s natural for doubt to creep in, but remembering your “why” and the original motivation behind your goal can provide the necessary support during those moments. Nothing worthwhile comes easily, but when you genuinely love what you do, you’ll find the resilience and never give up.
