“Step so far outside of your comfort zone, you can’t find your way back.”
Paulette Dale Tweet
Dr. Paulette Dale is a Professor Emeritus of Speech Communication/Linguistics. She is an internationally known author and consultant in the area of Assertiveness Training, English Pronunciation, Public Speaking, and is fluent in Spanish. Her published works include an abundance of articles and successful ESL texts published by Pearson Education. Paulette has been interviewed by such respected magazines as Redbook, New Women, Women’s Day, and Cosmopolitan relative to assertive communication for women. She has been featured in The New York Times, Huffington Post, The Washington Post, USA Today, Business Insider, Newsweek, People Magazine, Vanity Fair, and on NBC Live, MSNBC, Fox News, to name a few. She has even been parodied on Saturday Night Live. (Paulette likes to quip, “I usually find SNL skits hilarious, NOT this time. I guess that’s because it was about me!” )
She received her Ph.D. from the U of Florida in 1980 and was the recipient of a prestigious Fulbright Fellowship in International Education. As an English-Language Specialist for the U.S. State Dept., she has been the featured speaker at countless international conferences in Mexico, Panama, Brazil, Venezuela, Peru, Honduras, El Salvador, Argentina, Guatemala, Costa Rica, China, the former Soviet Union, and the Philippines. She was honored in the fifth-anniversary edition of Mirabella Magazine as one of one thousand women who should be celebrated for her passionate dedication and strength. The new edition of her popular and timeless book: “Did You Say Something, Susan? How Any Woman Can Gain Confidence With Assertive Communication is now available on Amazon and most online booksellers.
Paulette received recognition on the floor of the U.S. Congress by the Honorable Carrie Meek as documented in the Congressional Record (May 20, 1999). I rise today to pay tribute to Dr. Paulette Dale of Miami-Dade College in Miami, Florida, for her contributions towards the emotional betterment of all people. Recently, Dr. Dale published a book on assertiveness which she hopes will help women to develop self-esteem. Dr. Dale believes that low-esteem is too pervasive in America, particularly among women. It is a privilege to pay tribute to Dr. Paulette Dale, who uses her vast knowledge and her own life experiences to help others.”
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Table of Contents
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Paulette Dale: My first summer job was as a showroom model in New York City at age 17. The showroom manager requested that I model a newly designed outfit to compare with several styles already displayed on mannequins in the corner of the room. Pointing to the manikins, he ordered me, “Go stand over there with the other dummies.“ I wordlessly did as I was told.
As I left work that day, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of humiliation. Relating the episode to my family during dinner, I was expecting innocuous platitudes like, “Just forget about it.“ Instead, my father asked how I responded. I mumbled I had said nothing. He became irate, “Since when have you become mute? How dare you allow yourself to be spoken to that way. You are inferior to no one and don’t ever forget it!“ My angry father’s admonitions at the dinner table catalyzed my career path and the desire to inspire as many women as possible to develop a stronger sense of self-confidence and self-respect through effective and assertive communication.
Was there somebody in your life that inspired you to take that specific journey with your business?
Paulette Dale: I had my parents‘ help in committing to believe in myself. I credit them for providing me with the kind of loving supportive environment that has enabled me to live my life with a positive self-image, the strength of my convictions, and the courage to express them. They taught me to speak up and never leave anything important unsaid. I could not have done this by myself. My parents inspired me to become a mentor for others so they wouldn’t have to do it by themselves either. My parents inspired me to serve as a coach and counselor for others, to guide and inspire as many people as possible to empower themselves as they did for me.
Has the pandemic and transitioning into mostly online shopping affected your company positively or negatively?
Paulette Dale: There have been both positive and negative effects on my ability to conduct assertive communication workshops and training, and to promote my book through traditional bookstore signings and lectures. While I have been prevented from speaking before live audiences, traveling to give in-person talks, meeting people one-on-one, the pluses have been many.
I’ve taken advantage of social media to network and connect, and establish quality relationships with others. I’ve hosted zoom workshops and lectures with people all over the world. I’ve gotten to meet wonderful people up close and personal from countries I’ll likely never have an opportunity to visit including India, Nigeria, Kenya, and the Maldives, for example. I’ve had video meetings and established real friendships with new LinkedIn connections in Canada, England, Finland, Israel, and other parts of North America. These new connections and opportunities have enriched my life and will likely continue to do so.
Often leaders are asked to share the best advice they received. But let’s reverse the question. What’s the worst advice you received?
Paulette Dale: Oh ho! I’ve received lots of bad advice from well-intentioned but ill-advised friends and family. I wish I had a nickel for each time I was advised to “bite my tongue to keep the peace,” not to “rock the boat,” or not to speak up and call attention to myself because the tallest nail is often the one that gets hammered down first. What people don’t realize is that when you bite your tongue to keep the peace, you start a war within yourself.
What is most important to your organization—mission, vision, or values?
Paulette Dale: Values, by far, are the most important to my mission. My mission and greatest passion are to help others to empower themselves through assertive communication. My mission is to help others experience the exhilaration and emotional freedom of saying what they want to say in any given situation. – to help others become empowered to take responsibility for their emotional well-being. The values I embrace are empathy, transparency, and authenticity.
What do you consider are your strengths when dealing with staff workers, colleagues, senior management, and customers?
Paulette Dale: My strongest skills involve listening – listening to what others say and what they don’t say, interpersonal communication, creating a safe and encouraging environment for others to feel free to express themselves, teamwork, and having a growth mindset.
My strengths all involve what are known as soft skills. Soft skills relate to how we work and engage with others. They are transferable skills that can be used regardless of a person’s job or profession. They have more to do with who we are than what we know.
I’m also particularly proud of another strength – that of self-awareness – knowing what my weaknesses are and asking for help when I need it. We can’t all know something about everything. Admitting this is a real strength. It allows us to allow others to learn and grow from applying their ideas. It gives us an opportunity to learn a new or different way of doing things.
What’s your favorite leadership style and why?
Paulette Dale: My favorite leadership style is a combination of the democratic style and the coaching style. I like to share information that affects team members’ work responsibilities. I also seek team members’ opinions before making a final decision. I truly believe that everyone has the power within themselves and may simply need a little direction to help them tap into their ability to achieve their full potential. I find that this style has many benefits. It engenders trust and promotes team spirit and cooperation. It inspires people to do what needs to be done in a way that they want to do it.
Do you think entrepreneurship is something that you’re born with or something that you can learn along the way?
Paulette Dale: I believe the desire to be an entrepreneur is something you are born with and can be mastered with learning and experience. The passion to become an entrepreneur is innate. Passion can’t be learned. Entrepreneurs have to be leaders to be successful. The entrepreneur doesn’t have to know how to do all the work themself but their leadership skills will allow them to get the work done by others. A successful entrepreneur needs the leadership skills to direct and motivate others.
What’s your favorite “life lesson” quote and how has it affected your life?
Paulette Dale: My favorite mantra is “Step so far outside of your comfort zone, you can’t find your way back.” I learned early on that staying in my comfort zone prevented me from improving. It stopped me from achieving the things I’m capable of. I learned that my comfort zone wasn’t really about comfort, it was more about fear – fear of taking risks or trying something new. I realized that if I simply continued to do what I’d always done, the same way I always did it, my personal and professional growth would plateau. So, I pushed myself to tackle new and complex projects, to take advantage of public speaking opportunities, to take on leadership roles even when I didn’t feel ready. Before I knew it, my comfort zone became larger and larger. My favorite life lesson quote helped me to completely lose any fear of failure.
Jed Morley, VIP Contributor to ValiantCEO and the host of this interview would like to thank Paulette Dale for taking the time to do this interview and share her knowledge and experience with our readers.
If you would like to get in touch with Paulette Dale or her company, you can do it through her – Linkedin Page
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