Men’s role in society is evolving, as women are being encouraged and supported to step into more leadership roles, that have traditionally been reserved for men. This is allowing men different choices, like being stay at home dads. These societal changes are leaving some men unsure exactly what it means to be a man in these more progressive times.
Currently, we’re seeing an increase in male influencers speaking out about their mental health issues. Studies have found that women are twice as likely as men to seek a therapist, and men are twice as likely to wait until after they’ve developed a mental health issue to ask for help.
A study by Duke University asked how old a group of men were when they first experienced pressure to be masculine, and their results found that the majority of men were around 13 years old, which is in line with past research on boys’ social development during puberty and adolescence.
This early childhood understanding (or misunderstanding) of masculinity and the subsequent mental health challenges many men are experiencing, is apparent in high-achieving men, as they look for ways to fit in and be seen. High achievers are always willing to go the extra mile to make things happen, especially if they believe it will positively impact their success. According to Mindtools’s summary of McClelland’s theory, the main characteristics of people driven by achievement are:
- A strong need to set and accomplish challenging goals
- Taking calculated risks to accomplish their goal
- Enjoying regular feedback on their progress and achievements
- General preference to work alone
In the Enneagram framework, the Achiever is The Type 3 personality. The Enneagram Institute stated that the basic desire of the Achievers is to feel valuable and worthwhile. By contrast, their main fear is to turn out worthless.
There are commonalities between many male high achievers, including a strong fear of failure, and the desire for external recognition of their accomplishments. This often leads to these men feeling alone, unsupported, and frustrated with how they are showing up as a man and leader. One of the most effective ways to support and develop these high achievers are men’s leadership groups. These groups were developed for men who want to be better leaders, partners, and fathers, and the most effective of these groups are facilitated by men who have experienced those exact feelings and spent years working on understanding themselves and others to lead a life of true purpose and value.
Leadership groups as a tool for high-achieving men
As a man, if you wake up in the morning and question your relationships or feel that you are missing your true fulfillment in life, a leadership group is a great way to surround yourself with a cohort of fellow men who understand the challenge of being highly intelligent, exceptionally driven, and yet still feeling alone, afraid, and unfulfilled, despite all they have achieved so far in life. The steps that a strong leadership group will help you walk through together include:
- Understanding your emotions, and seeing them as a tool for success rather than weakness or something to be ignored
- Learning how to ask for support, and who to reach out to when you need it
- Finding your purpose in life, both personally and professionally
- Learning how to control and choose your responses, rather than just reacting
- Walking away with tools and language to have more impactful communication, and therefore demonstrate better leadership
By developing relationships with other high-achieving leaders, you’ll not only grow your own network across the country, but you’ll walk away with a support group of men who are experiencing similar journeys, challenges and issues as you. Additionally, these people will hold you accountable for your actions and emotions, without judgement. The men that attend these groups experience a transformation, able to have more fulfilling relationships, and with a new level of self-awareness of theirs and others behaviors. One example of a high-achieving men’s group that will walk through these steps to develop strong leaders and new relationships, is Maximize Your Potential’s FearLESS group, which starts February 2023.
Improving yourself as a man at work and at home
In the business world, organizations are beginning to recognize the importance of leadership development. Almost 50% of businesses use leadership development programs to upskill talent into leadership roles. And, just under half (49%) of companies rely on these programs to upskill or cross-skill leaders and thus encourage them to accelerate their growth and development. Even the great Steve Jobs, Sergey Brin, and Larry Page turned to trillion-dollar coach Bill Campbell to shape their leadership style and drive effectiveness.
This furthers the argument of why men should embrace leadership development, both at work to further their careers, and in their personal lives so they can show up their best selves at all times. Studies have found that leadership training boosts leader behavior by almost 30%. If a study was conducted on the productivity of that person at home, I expect we’d see similar results!
