Leading with Heart: Lenore Kantor’s Vision for Soulful Success

Lenore Kantor: 12 years ago, I was leading marketing for a high growth financial company that I helped take public.  A few months later, I was asked to cancel a much-needed vacation for an acquisition announcement, followed by a stressful 9-month period of managing the integration process.  I left a brand strategy meeting feeling disconnected and disillusioned, walked into the bathroom and had an emotional breakdown. I had hit a breaking point where I knew it was time for me to leave and do my own thing.  I thought if I hated it, I could go back, but I knew I needed to take the risk and start my own business.

The move from an entrepreneurial, fast-paced company of 300 people to a bureaucratic behemoth of 50,000 people and endless meetings took its toll.  My heart and soul overtook my head and I couldn’t ignore the clear message that was coming through that I needed a change.  Prior to leaving the corporate world, I had gotten certified as a life coach as a personal interest, which had become a side hustle where I was seeing clients on evenings and weekends.  So it was a natural fit when I started my business to combine outsourced strategic marketing consulting with leadership coaching. 2 years ago I began integrating multiple modalities into my work with clients (including somatic, energetic and spiritual practices) and began moving beyond strategy (connected to the mind) into the transformational coaching (which incorporates minds, body, spirit, energy and environment to create significant life shifts).  Last year I wrote a book (So, What Do You Do?  The Authentic Alchemy Path to Find Who You Are), that shares the framework for change that I use in my work with conscious leaders, founders and soulpreneurs.

What common patterns do you see in high-achievers who feel stuck or unfulfilled in their careers?

Lenore Kantor: Not unlike my own experience, a common challenge for smart people on the fast track is to get stuck in their heads and get caught up in the comparison game of looking at what they “need” to do to get ahead.  They are constantly looking outside themselves for validation, rather than checking in with how they really feel and what they might truly need to find more happiness. This disconnection between the head and the heart is very common and it also results in a split between the personal and professional.  This shows up as overidentification with one’s work “identity” and underappreciation of one’s needs and desires.  Many believe they can’t have it all or they need to be something other than themselves to gain approval and be successful.

There are a hundred “practical” and rational reasons to stay in a job, even when someone is miserable. Whether it’s golden handcuffs to get a financial pay-off or family obligations or preferring stability and security for fear of the unknown, one can always find an excuse to ignore how they’re feeling and just keep pushing ahead.  Most of us hate change because it involves uncertainty and getting outside our comfort zone. Many people feel a sense of obligation or loyalty to their families or organizations, or want to see something through to the end to reach the next level or prove themselves.  There are so many reasons to ignore the inner voice, even when it’s telling you something is off (that you hate your job or aren’t energized by your work). Sadly, we often need a wake-up call (like a health scare, family crisis, divorce, layoff, accident or other big unanticipated life event) to snap us back into reality so we can start to look at how we’re living and ask if our work is actually working for us or against us.

How does your coaching process help professionals uncover their “soul-aligned” path?

Lenore Kantor: The Authentic Alchemy Path framework, which is outlined in my book, guides people through a very thoughtful and structured four phase roadmap to find more meaning and purpose.  It starts with PREPARING- creating space to start something new.  If one’s cup is full of other priorities, there’s no room to add more. It’s hard to step into something new or different when one is still attached to or burdened by the past.  Letting go and making room then allows you to start to envision new possibilities.  This important phase of INNER work is where I help people assess what they want in the future, understand where they are now, and acknowledge the gaps or blocks that are keeping them from moving forward. Many times, these past issues need to be addressed and cleared, so people can reclaim their authentic self.  From there, they begin the INTERPERSONAL process of reframing how they talk about what they want and reaching out to connect with others.  The final phase is the OUTER work where they embody a new way of being and start showing up as their full selves.

I coach people on multiple levels, all of which are outlined in the book. First, I offer practical strategies to explore new avenues, which include understanding your strengths, preferences and ideal environment, as well as those things that are within and outside of your control.  At the next level, we do transformational healing to clear any of the blocks to change they might face (which can include unhelpful beliefs, behaviors and patterns or releasing bad past experiences or expectations).  On the final level, I guide people to make meaning from their experiences in the context of a hero or heroine’s journey. I don’t believe there are any mistakes.  We help them understand their unique purpose and the magic of how everything happened for them (not just to them), so that going forward they can choose how they want to be in the future.  It’s all about empathy, empowerment and embodiment.  Being kind to ourselves, so we can go through that challenging process of stepping into what we desire and know we are meant to be doing.

What role does self-awareness play in building a career that truly aligns with one’s values?

Lenore Kantor: It can be extremely helpful and empowering to make conscious choices about your life.  When I see people reacting to their circumstances out of old patterns or beliefs, (for instance: “I have to do this because I’m worried what my parents/friends/colleagues will think”), then I know they are using external sources of validation to make decisions which will often not be aligned with what they really want.  When someone connects with their inner knowing and is guided by their values, preferences and priorities, they can then trust themselves to make the right decisions.  Inevitably, they are more grounded in their truth with confidence and clarity, so they can decide what matters and live without regrets.

An example is a client going through a career transition who is reading my book and told me that she turned down a potentially toxic job offer. She intuitively knew it would be similar to the corporate environment she just left that was not a good fit.  While of course she acknowledged it was a difficult decision to walk away from an opportunity while unemployed, she knew it was the right decision and felt liberated by her choice to avoid a stressful unhealthy environment (with unclear / unreasonable expectations, lack of structure and other red flags).  She was staying positive and felt good to put herself first.  When we have a sense of our own needs and are centered in our vision with the right mindset, we can make choices with intention.

How do you define authentic leadership, and what steps can leaders take to embody it? What are some practical ways leaders can foster a more authentic and values-driven workplace?

Lenore Kantor: For me, authenticity is when our words, actions, thoughts, energy, emotions and environment are all in alignment.  The first two are obvious enough, we want to walk our talk, and the other elements are about that self-awareness we talked about earlier.  When you understand your intentions and have a mastery over your emotions, you can then manage your energy and create positive environments.

In practical business terms, we all recognize when a brand is not living its values. You need to uncover the disconnects, for instance is what you say publicly and how your organization acts aligned?  Do you value your people and treat them fairly or do you reward certain behaviors that don’t sync with the company’s stated values?  Conducting regular workplace surveys can be a good way to get a pulse check on this.  Net Promoter Score (NPV) can tell you whether employees, customers or partners would recommend you to others can be a quick litmus test.  I think the best way that individual leaders can create authentic workplaces is if they do their own work to show up with integrity.  Some obvious signs of unhealthy workplaces are when there is high turnover and lots of nasty internal politics, or there’s a whisper culture, and lack of innovation because the organization is entrenched in a fixed way of being.  Flexibility, resiliency, and the willingness to be open to feedback can create environments where employees feel validated.

You talk about “Tower Moments.” How can people use major life disruptions as a catalyst for growth rather than fear them?

Lenore Kantor: Clearly Nietsche’s expression “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” seems apropos here on some level.  For me, it’s about turning a break-down into a break-through.  How do you choose to interpret the meaning of this significant life event?  Can you see the gift or lesson in it?  Of course, we’re being faced with so much uncertainty, sadness and pain in the world right now (from war, to political polarization to eco disasters and more), so I am in no way making light of these very real challenges that we face.  However, we get to choose how we respond. Do we get knocked down and then bow out or give in to the fear or do we recognize that we’re here for a reason and we’re meant to learn something from whatever experience we face?  How can we translate our challenges into growth opportunities.

So you got laid off, can you find a new job that’s even better or more satisfying?  You experienced a loss and deep sadness, what wisdom did you gain that you can share with others?  The idea behind the “Tower” card in tarot is that whatever fell apart was built on a shaky foundation to begin with, so how can you rebuild?  What lesson have you learned and what is needed now to move forward from a place of strength?  The truth is that we are being faced with many unknown outcomes all the time, so how can we choose to become more resilient and adaptable so that we can pivot and trust ourselves to find a way through.

How can people unlearn societal expectations around work, identity, and success?

Lenore Kantor: This is such an insightful question because it starts with recognizing that we have learned a way of being from those around us (our family, schools, neighbors and communities).  All of these have subtly and directly influenced how we interpret the world around us.  One important way to break free is to travel. Get out of your comfort zone and talk with people who come from different backgrounds and have different experiences.

I’ll share 2 examples, when I was embedded in the corporate environment I was tethered to my phone 24×7 and that was my world. I had 2 experiences that made me realize that another reality existed that I had never knew was possible. I met a friend and overheard a woman talking about her plans for the day and how she was doing all of these self-care things on her own schedule.  I was then trying to meet with another consultant who wasn’t available for the whole month of December because she was going to be travelling. That opened my eyes that a more flexible schedule was possible when you ran your own business.  I couldn’t even imagine it until I saw that other people were living this different reality from me.  We need to believe that things can be different and then trust ourselves enough to stop worrying what other people thing or how they will judge us. When we can recognize that our happiness and fulfillment is worthwhile and more important that making others happy, then we can allow ourselves to step out of the Matrix that we may be trapped in.

What does it mean to design a career path with intention rather than falling into one by default?

Lenore Kantor: So many of us fall into our work by accident. We get hired by a family friend or an old boss offers us a job and we take what comes up because it’s easy. And don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this!  How great that you had something land in your lap. But, it’s also worth asking whether it’s what you would do now if you were given a choice.  I ended up in banking and financial services because I was recruited out of business school and it was a great opportunity where I learned a lot, made a significant contribution and grew professionally. However, I then stayed in an industry that I didn’t particularly care about for 2 decades. I went to business school with the intention of becoming a nonprofit executive, but somewhere along the way I got sidelined and redirected into a completely different area because of the environment and external influences around me.

Designing a career path is the opportunity to make conscious choices going forward about what you want to do, who you work with, where you work and why you do it.  What is the impact you want to make?  You can consider multiple parameters to find and create something that leverages all of your valuable experiences and is ideal for you, but that will only happen if you do the work to understand yourself and what you value.

If  there was one lesson you could share with anyone seeking more meaning in their work and life, what would it be?

Lenore Kantor: I always like to remind people that there are no mistakes. You really don’t need to have any regrets. All of the choices you made are for a reason. Now, the opportunity is to make meaning from what happened.  Like weaving together the threads of a beautiful tapestry, there are likely to be more connections in your path than you realize.  Spending the time to understand how and why your life came together the way it did and forgiving yourself for any redirects, while appreciating who you are is the path to more happiness and fulfillment.  You get to make the meaning in whatever way choose. I encourage you to find the beauty because that’s a far more inspiring way to live.