Saving marriages is more than a ‘day job’ for Dennis St John Crosby. It is a mission he’s embraced with empathy and informed by his deep understanding of the unique pressures ambitious professionals face. As the CEO and Founder of Authentic Man, Crosby has worked with more than 1,000 men over the past decade, guiding them to strengthen their relationships, lead with authenticity, and reclaim their personal lives. Over the last two and a half years, his work has honed in on one of the most delicate challenges so-called “high-achievers” face: keeping their marriages alive while chasing ambitious goals.
The Hidden Cost of High Achievement
The very drive that makes entrepreneurs and executives successful can also jeopardize marriages. Crosby often sees ambitious professionals pushing forward so hard in their careers that their family lives are left with little attention, which over time strains their marriages. “For men who are really striving to climb big mountains, to go out and create big things, to get to the top of whatever ladder they’re trying to climb, a lot of times the focus that requires draws away from our relationships,” Crosby shares. “Because of the nature of things, when we pull attention away from that, it will slowly dissolve into chaos. It’s the physics concept of entropy.”
The results can be devastating, with Crosby noting that it is not uncommon for an entrepreneur to sell a business only to face divorce within a year. “The irony is, if you ask the men what was one of the main reasons for doing it, it was to be able to take care of their family”—a sobering realization for many of his clients, who come to see that “the sacrifices they made often did not justify the outcome.”
Building Marriages with Practical Strategies
While Crosby acknowledges the value of therapy, his approach emphasizes forward-looking strategies that create immediate impact. A powerful piece of his philosophy is what he calls the “10% rule.” “All the time that you’re putting into going out there and creating whatever it is, take 10% of that time and put it into your marriage,” Crosby says. “If you’re reading 10 books a year, make one of them a relationship book. If you’re going out to 10 events for your business, make one of them focus on the marriage. If you spend $100,000 on professional development, spend $10,000 on marital development.” This shift, though simple in concept, requires intentionality. By allocating just a fraction of the resources typically reserved for professional growth, Crosby believes couples can begin to rebuild trust, rekindle intimacy, and restore balance.
Navigating the Role of AI in Relationship Support
As technology becomes woven into nearly every aspect of modern life, some wonder whether artificial intelligence could eventually replace coaching or therapy. “At this stage of the game, I think AI is replacing blogs and maybe YouTube channels in terms of this type of information,” he shares. “In terms of actual coaching and therapy, at a very superficial level it can do it. But part of the coaching process is picking up on non-verbal cues, hearing what’s not said, feeling the mismatch between what somebody’s saying and what you’re experiencing from them. I don’t see that happening anytime soon.” For Crosby, the deeper the marital issue, the more it requires specialized tools and real human connection. While he acknowledges that future generations may rely more heavily on technology for support, he believes that, for now, people still crave the insight and presence only another human can provide.
Therapy’s Value and Its Limitations
Crosby sees therapy as an important resource, particularly in creating space for self-reflection. “There are very few environments where you can speak to somebody solely about yourself and they will listen to everything you’re saying, hear you, and give you support and feedback for an hour,” he says. “There’s a place for that.” But for couples in crisis, Crosby argues therapy can fall short because it often focuses on the past rather than equipping people with practical steps for the present. “Most people, when they’re trying to build a better marriage, are asking what do I do right here, right now, to really turn things around. And for most people, therapy just doesn’t give that to them,” he shares.
Leading with Authenticity
Crosby’s work through Authentic Man reflects his broader vision of empowering men to live authentically and lead fulfilling lives. He believes that saving marriages and strengthening families is not only about personal happiness but also about preserving the very foundation on which professional success is built. As he continues his work, Crosby remains committed to bridging the gap between ambition and intimacy, reminding men that their greatest legacy begins in their personal lives.
Connect with Dennis St John Crosby on LinkedIn or visit his website. To learn more about Authentic Man, readers can visit their website.
